Celebrities, Politicians and Clinical Narcissism

RANCHO SANTA FE, CA., March 11, 2011 – With union battles looming and the debt ceiling rapidly approaching, larger-than-life personalities are taking center stage … unfortunately.  In the category of Certifiable Personalities, today’s Final Jeopardy answer is “Muammar al-Gaddafi, Charlie Sheen and many of our politicians have this in common” … and remember to respond in the form of a question.  Bet it all!  It wouldn’t take a Watson to get this one right.  Alex … what is “Clinical Narcissism?”  Correct!  You’re our new Jeopardy Champion!  The judges would have accepted “lunacy” as well.  That seems to be the state of celebrities and political “leaders” these days.

There’s no truth to the rumor that CBS and Libya are negotiating a trade:  Charlie bringing his “genius” to Libya in return for Gaddafi reprising the lead role in Two and a Half Men.  Libya likes the deal because Sheen has promised not to bomb its citizens … at least for a little while … and CBS likes the deal because it wants a more stable, less egotistical star.

Unfortunately, we often don’t have as many attractive options when it comes to our politicians.  Besides, it’s also getting harder to locate them.  They don’t even vote “present” at the State level any more.

We’re nearing a time when we may need to cast our votes for officials in neighboring States.  For example, Wisconsin and Indiana residents might be required to vote for officials in Illinois … where their politicians end up any way.

If reducing our National Debt is really a big deal, let’s start by eliminating the Supreme Court.  The President can just declare what’s constitutional, and the Department of Justice can selectively enforce the law according to the President’s pronouncements.

In that same regard, we could eliminate the Legislature as well.  If the President can decide what’s constitutional without the intervention of the Judicial Branch of our government, why not assume that we no longer need the Legislative Branch to vote on the law in the first place?  Let’s just eliminate the middle man!

Since the Tenth Amendment is pretty much being ignored, we can stop wasting time and money on State legislatures as well.  Again, let’s just let the President determine whether an issue is an “assault” by one party on another and be done with it.

We can declare our borders “safe” as well … regardless of the facts.  We actually need illegal immigrants to continue to provide a disproportionate percentage of our prison population.  Otherwise, we’ll have to include penitentiaries in the President’s economic recovery strategy of selling underutilized federal buildings.  Have you ever tried to sell a prison?  It’s not easy!

There’s also the issue of protecting the collective bargaining rights of public sector employees.  If the President would just step up and directly address this, it might allow us to do away with Republicans and Tea Partiers.  Another huge cost savings!  Then again, he might have to explain why he hasn’t done away with the ban on collective bargaining among federal workers that was imposed by the Carter Administration.

If we didn’t need the Department of Justice to be in a position to not enforce federal law, we could do away with it as well.  Recently, the Department of Homeland Security prosecuted and won a case in which the judge’s verdict permitted the DHS to shut down three websites that were found guilty of providing child pornography.  The DHS quickly shut down the three sites … along with about 84,000 other unrelated sites that were terminated by accident.  Hey, the government needed a way to test the Internet “kill switch” the Administration’s been pushing to have approved, and this might have been as good a way as any to do it.

Luckily, we can still waste money on a parole hearing for Sirhan Sirhan.  He says he doesn’t remember killing Robert F. Kennedy at the Ambassador Hotel back in 1968, and he’s hoping that we won’t remember either.  His attorney believes a second gunman killed Kennedy despite what the video tapes clearly show and the eye witnesses observed.  It may be the same guy that took the shot from the grassy knoll a few years before.  Parole is a long shot though, as Sirhan Sirhan will have to express responsibility and remorse for a crime he says he doesn’t remember.  Then again, perhaps the ACLU will enter the fray and petition for his release on the grounds that his constitutional rights have been violated as an oppressed illegal alien.

Okay … enough of this!  It’s time for The Common Sense Czar to return us to reality of the declaration of Independence and the Constitution.  Here are his common sense fixes:

• Elected Officials:  Show up for work or we’ll replace you … just like we do when private sector employees don’t show up for work.
• Department of Justice:  Go back to enforcing the law as it stands … on a non-selective basis.  Leave it up to the Judicial Branch to strike down laws that are unconstitutional and allow the Legislative Branch to draft new laws subject to judicial review.
• President Obama:  Go back and read the notes you must have had when you were a Senior lecturer on Constitutional Law at the University of Chicago.  Check out the first three Articles so you’ll have a little more clarity of the separation of powers between the three Branches of government.  Then, reread the Ninth and Tenth Amendments.
• Border Integrity:  Let Afghanistan sort out its own problems.  Bring our troops back, line them up on the border, and tell them to pretend they’re still in Afghanistan.
• Public Sector Union Employees:  Collectively bargain to your hearts content … wages, benefits, pensions … who cares?  Let federal employees join a union as well if they so choose.  However, let’s pass a law that indexes their wages, benefits, pensions, etc. to the average compensation packages of the private sector.  Since taxpayers are effectively the public sector’s equivalent of shareholders, no one is getting rich off the fruits of public employees’ labor.  The risk of mistreatment just isn’t there.  And since these jobs exist to serve the public interest, lets go with the theory that “all men are created equal” and eliminate the lifetime pensions, etc. that went away in the private sector two or three decades ago.
• Department of Homeland Security:  Focus on preventing terrorist, drugs and illegal aliens from entering our borders rather than identifying three child pornography websites.  The Department of Justice can handle that issue if it gets back to doing its job.
• Sirhan Sirhan:  We’re going to take you off the parole list … along with Charlie Manson.  It’s just a waste of time and money.  If you do get out, you might want to audition for the Two and a Half Men gig.  It’s a long shot, but Gaddafi is only a 2:1 favorite.

See how easy it is when you apply common sense?  The Man Who Would Be King was just a movie; a film adaptation of Rudyard Kipling’s short story.  Let’s stop putting the entire burden on a single individual.  If our Founding Fathers wanted a King, they would have called for one and scrapped the whole “Constitution” idea.  Correspondingly, the President needs to divorce himself from the belief that he can disregard the Constitution he swore to defend.  He should just leave “Clinical Narcissism” to the experts.  Charlie and Muammar seem up to the task.

*****

T.J. O’Hara is a political satirist, media personality and author of three new books:  The Left isn’t Right, The Right is Wrong, and The National Platform of Common Sense.  He will be the Guest Host of The Rick Amato Show on March 25th on 1170 AM, KCBQ, San Diego, from 7:00-8:00 PM PST.  Listen live via the Internet at http://AmatoTalk.com.  Read more of T.J.’s work at The Common Sense Czar in the Communities at the Washington Times.

Website:                        www.TheCommonSenseCzar.net

To Order Books:          http://tinyurl.com/2a9rztg

Facebook Fan Page:  http://tinyurl.com/2dlwum7

Tweet the Czar:            @TCSCzar

***** 

Copyright © 2011 T.J. O’Hara. To support viral distribution, this article may be copied, reprinted, forwarded, linked, or published in any form as long as proper attribution is given to the author and no changes are made

Wisconsin’s Unhappy Re-Union

RANCHO SANTA FE, CA., March 2, 2011 – For the first time in American history, a State’s elected representatives are “absent without leave.”  Madison, Wisconsin has become the battleground for a new type of labor/management disagreement:  public employee union workers versus the State’s elected officials (or at least those elected officials who actually go to work).  As you might expect, there are a lot of misconceptions floating around because it makes for good TV.  It’s time for “common sense” to fill the void!

As a college student, Scott Walker once ran for presidency of the Associated Students of Marquette University.  He was accused of violating some campaign guidelines and admitted to some of the transgressions.  The Marquette Tribune declared him "unfit for the presidency" … and a promising career in the real world of politics was born.

Governor Walker has held various positions at the State and Local level in Wisconsin.  In his prior offices, he has demonstrated an ability to restore fiscal responsibility and “walked his talk” while doing it.  As Milwaukee County Executive, he voluntarily gave back nearly 50% of his salary for several years to demonstrate his commitment.

When the Governor cites Wisconsin’s “$3.8 billion deficit,” he’s citing a trend rather than the current reality.  Wisconsin is actually running a $137 million deficit that’s projected to be $3.8 billion in the next two-year budget.  So, the Governor is “fanning the flames” a bit.  If he used the President’s economic logic, he just as reasonably could have projected a balanced budget … maybe even a surplus!

Governor Walker’s proposal strips away collective bargaining rights except with respect to wages.  However, wages are capped by the Consumer Price Index unless otherwise approved by voter referendum.  This is patently unfair!  Why should the voters have any say in how taxpayer dollars are spent?  This is America!

The Left smells blood at this point and begins to circle the wagons.  Union members and Liberal supporters swarm the Capitol building.  Republicans are blamed for trying to break the unions on behalf of “big business.”  There’s only one problem:  the unions in question only represent government employees; there isn’t a “big business” to be found.  Never mind … just ignore that.

Interestingly, government employees have lost their collective bargaining rights in Indiana and Missouri in the last few years, and 24 other States have eliminated or at least limited collective bargaining for government employees as well.  To add insult to injury, a renowned Conservative President once condemned the thought of collective bargaining for government employees … Franklin D. Roosevelt.  Okay, bad example!

Just out of curiosity:  why would FDR be against it (other than not having had the advice and counsel of President Obama)?  It seems that some people are just naturally skeptical about a process like the following:  union workers pay dues; part of their dues is used to get certain candidates elected; the union then negotiates for higher wages with those same elected officials; and the higher wages result in more union dues.   Hmmm … what could go wrong with that scenario?

The Wisconsin legislation also calls for government union workers to pay 5.8% of their salaries toward their pensions and 12.6% of the cost of their health care coverage … as opposed to the zero percent they pay today.  In The Left isn’t Right, The Czar pays tribute to the savvy marketing of the Democratic Party while in The Right is Wrong he decries the inept marketing instincts of the Republican Party.  This is a great example.

President Obama played the “middle-class card” (which is beginning to trump the well-worn “race card”).  “It’s very important for us to understand that public employees, they’re our neighbors, they’re our friends … it’s important not to vilify them or to suggest that somehow all these budget problems are due to public employees.”  This connects the government union workers to the masses at a more personal level.  Great move! 

The Republicans, true to form, countered with their doe-in-headlights strategy of “we’re just trying to reduce the deficit.”  If they thought like Democrats, they would have isolated the government union workers and “cut them from the herd;” demonizing them in the minds of their middle-class counterparts.

How so?  Just point out that “neighbors and friends” of the government union workers earn about $12,000¹ less per year in similar jobs and have to pay 7.5% for their pensions² and 20% for their health care coverage.³  The legislation just tries to level the playing field a little.  When you think of it that way, it seems like the Governor is just trying to stop the union’s “assault” on poor middle-class citizens in the private sector who are trying to survive today’s economy while working hard and paying their own way.

Then, the Republicans could point out that the legislation explicitly excludes those government union workers who protect and defend the property of those same middle class citizens:  the police and firefighters.  This always tugs at the heartstrings of the masses, but those on the Right seem to have lost touch with that nuance years ago.

Republicans have done a fair job of mocking the hypocrisy of the Senate Democrats’ ploy to run and hide in another State.  This juvenile, “we’ll hold our breath until we turn blue” strategy is an embarrassment.  It appears that Illinois has become Canada to Wisconsin’s Vietnam.  Let’s just grant amnesty to the Senate Democrats.  Maybe they’ll come back to Wisconsin and do the job they were elected (and paid) to do.  Otherwise, they’d better hope that voters no longer distinguish between conscientious objectors and real veterans.

While the United States is actually a Republic, our politicians (who apparently haven’t read, or at least don’t understand the Constitution) like to refer to our country as a democracy.  For a moment, let’s accept their premise.  In the Middle East, protestors are clamoring for a democracy, while in Madison, Wisconsin, we have politicians trying to avoid one.  Here’s the dilemma:  you can’t have “Majority Rule” only when you have a majority!  Step up and do your jobs … or step down.  There are plenty of unemployed individuals who would love to take your place.

And while we’re beating that drum, let’s not leave out the teachers.  While they may not be in class, they are certainly still teaching our youth.  On the positive side, they’re teaching them “the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.”  Excellent!  Unfortunately, they’re also teaching our children that it’s all right to lie (about being sick), cheat (by filing for sick pay), and steal (by accepting payment).  Do you know what this means?  It means that there’s a whole new generation of politicians being properly trained by our teachers.

Of course, the venerable “profession” of medicine has also joined in the fray.  Well meaning physicians have displayed the propensity to distort the Hippocratic Oath to one spelled nearly the same.  By willfully aiding and abetting the perpetration of a fraud (in the form of issuing false “excuses”), they reinforce the public’s growing concern over the sanctity of our health care system.  In some perverted way, the President may be able to use this as an example of why health care reform is so vital.  If driving out fraud is important, let’s start with the doctors.

Perhaps the most interesting element of this drama is the lens through which it allows us to view the present state of politics.  Shuffle a few pictures of the union protestors in Wisconsin with protestors at the Tea Party rally of your choice.  Then, try to separate the two.  It won’t be easy.

One of the popular placards in Wisconsin featured a coiled snake with the slogan “Don’t Tread on Me.”  Another said, “Death to Tyrants.”  Yet another said “Don’t Retreat … Reload” with cross-hairs over a picture of Governor Wallace.  Just when you thought that only the extremists on the Right used that type of rhetoric!  Maybe the union workers were just trying to be “fiscally conservative” and bought their signs secondhand.

Then, there’s Nancy Pelosi.  Nancy tweeted “workers must have a seat at the table to fight for good wages & a safe workplace-I stand in solidarity (with the union).”  Wow … that’s so Sixties!  Right on, Nancy!  Power to the people!

Let’s tie that back to the Tea Party.  Picture members of the Tea Party … surrounding our Nation’s Capitol … having bought back all of their signs.  Would Nancy “stand in solidarity” with them; would she lobby for their “seat at the table” to fight for a better economy and a safer country; or would she run the maze of tunnels under the Capitol with her fellow Murinae to escape across the Potomac just beyond the reach of the Sergeant at Arms?  The Czar will place some Wisconsin cheese in the tunnel to guide you, but please don’t stop to eat it.

If it sounds like The Czar is disgusted by the whole charade, it’s because he is.  The Tenth Amendment is pretty clear.  This is an issue for the Wisconsin State legislature.  While the First Amendment gives our federal officials the right to comment, sometimes discretion is the better part of valor.  There are enough things for them to fix in Washington, D.C. without venturing beyond their jurisdiction.  Maybe if the Beltway crowd demonstrated a little more success in resolving their budgetary issues, the States might be more inclined to listen to what the feds have to say.

If the President and other federal officials, looking for their Andy Warhol 15-minutes of fame, continue to weigh in on this matter of State’s rights, The Czar will have to continue traveling around the country apologizing for our federal arrogance.  Who knows?  If he does it enough, maybe he’ll win some sort of Peace Prize … or the Medal of Freedom.

*****

T.J. O’Hara is a political satirist, media personality and author of three new books:  The Left isn’t Right, The Right is Wrong, and The National Platform of Common Sense.  He will be the Guest Host of The Rick Amato Show on March 25th on 1170 AM, KCBQ, San Diego, from 7:00-8:00 PM PST.  Listen live via the Internet at http://AmatoTalk.com.  Read more of T.J.’s work at The Common Sense Czar in the Communities at the Washington Times.

Website:                        www.TheCommonSenseCzar.net

To Order Books:          http://tinyurl.com/2a9rztg

Facebook Fan Page:  http://tinyurl.com/2dlwum7

Tweet the Czar:            @TCSCzar

¹ Fox News

² Bureau of labor Statistics

³ Employee Benefits Research Institute

***** 

Copyright © 2011 T.J. O’Hara. To support viral distribution, this article may be copied, reprinted, forwarded, linked, or published in any form as long as proper attribution is given to the author and no changes are made.

"Trickle Down" Deficit Reduction

President Obama released a politically responsive budget for 2012 rather than an economically responsive one to “trickle down” what’s approaching $15 trillion in debt. It’s only been a few days since Deficit Reduction for Dummies was published, but this confirms the need for this additional course.  This could have been avoided had the President just followed Rule #5:  “When in doubt, call the Common Sense Czar.”   He would have been told to review Rules 1 through 4 before drafting a budget that is tantamount to “political prostitution.”

•  Rule #1:  “Politicians must recognize that the government is a consumer of cash that does not contribute to the Gross Domestic Product in any way.”
• Rule #2:  “The government can’t spend more than it takes in.”
• Rule #3:  “You can’t keep taxing a higher percentage of people’s income to support your spending habits … even if you limit such increases to an inconsequential number of people in a way that secures the votes of a more significant base.
• Rule #4:  “Start internally and eliminate all unnecessary expenditures.”

Just to be clear:  “political prostitution” differs substantially from traditional prostitution.  Traditional prostitution involves a transaction in which cash is exchanged by a willing buyer for sex with a willing seller.  In political prostitution, cash is taken from a potentially unwilling participant and redistributed to someone who is expected to provide services (in the form of support) for the Party Initiating Meaningless Programs (or “pimp” for short).  However, in some ways, “political prostitution” is similar to traditional prostitution because, in both cases, the person providing the cash gets … well, you know!  Given the Republican Party’s recent interest in distinguishing forcible rape within the context of government subsidized abortion, there is a possibility that “political prostitution” will fall under similar semantical scrutiny to better appeal to the Republican base.

The President’s latest budget is an example of “pimping” at its finest.  It totally ignores the reality of Rule #1, which is the first step toward recovery; it superficially pays homage to Rule #4, but in a way that is so inconsequential as to be pointless; and it tries to overcome Rule #2 by exaggerating its disregard of Rule #3.  At best, the proposed budget represents a “trickle down” approach to reducing the deficit just when we thought that water torture had been banned.

Cutting the Defense budget and calling for increased taxes on “the rich” panders to the President’s base and underscores the fact that his re-election campaign has been unofficially launched.  Of course, the departure of Messrs. Axelrod and Gibbs should have already put us on notice.

In his State of the Union address, the President stated that “we have to confront the fact that our government spends more than it takes in.  That is not sustainable (i.e., Rule #2).”   Part of his solution is to “call for a freeze on annual domestic spending over the next five years.”  Let the record show that our country’s current domestic spending is at an all-time high.  To quote Benjamin Franklin, “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”

The President assures us that “this freeze would cut the deficit by more than $400 billion over the next decade.”  History tells us that we should pay particular attention to promises that extend well beyond a politician’s term in office (in this case, four years beyond the longest period the President could possibly serve).  Why not tell us what the initiative will save between now and the 2012 election?  Okay … that’s obviously just a rhetorical question.

In his recent speech to the U.S. Chamber of Commerce, the President said, “We're trying to run the government more like you run your businesses.”  He can’t be serious.  Then again, maybe he is.  After all, many businesses spend money in expectation of favorable results (“betting on the come” like the government).  Then, they try to recover from their ensuing losses by raising prices (just like the government raises taxes to reduce debt).  And finally, they fail (… just like the government).  Perhaps the Administration should only try to emulate successful businesses.

President Obama is also “convinced that if we out-build and out-innovate and out-educate, as well as out-hustle the rest of the world, the jobs and industries of our time will take root here in the United States.”  He left out the phrase “outspend,” but it can be reasonably inferred within the context of the budget he offered.

As an example of “savings (that) will come through less waste and more efficiency,” the President tells us that the government will be “getting rid of 14,000 office buildings.”  Here’s a common sense question:  who will buy them?  China is beginning to try to divest itself of some of its dollar-based debt, the International Monetary Fund is trying to eliminate the dollar as the world’s reserve currency (more on that issue in one of the Czar’s advanced courses), and the mortgage banking industry isn’t likely to loan money on unoccupied buildings no matter how much bailout money they’ve received.  The only possible purchaser on the horizon is Donald Trump, who might want to acquire them at bargain-basement prices and flip them to fund his presidential run.

If the government can dump a few thousand buildings, why stop there?  If you’ve read The National Platform of Common Sense, you know that our government also owns about 30 percent of the land in the United States.  That’s the equivalent of 15 States (if they were all the same size), which would reduce our “inventory” of States to 35 if we were to liquidate them (or 42 by the President’s count).

Hey … maybe he’s on to something!  The government could just carve out an undesirable area, redefine a few State lines (like it does in gerrymandering Congressional Districts), and sell the resulting parcels to interested parties.  There could be an “open border” State for “undocumented workers.”  There could be a multi-cultural State in which that European experiment could fail again.  There could be an atheist State, devoid of any crosses, so as not to offend residents.  There could even be a terrorist State; possibly the one with the most abandoned federal buildings.  Then, the residents could train to their hearts content and have a bunch of buildings to blow up in the name of their cause.  The possibilities are endless!

Correspondingly, as a certain percentage of our residents migrate to these Non-United States, our country’s operating expenses would go down.  Assuming a normal population distribution (so as not to be “politically incorrect”), we’d experience a raw decline in the cost of homeland security, the penal system, welfare, etc. … and we’d have 30 less Senators and a lot less Congressman to support.  We might be able to balance the budget after all!

The Czar takes it all back.  The President is a genius and his new budget just may work.  He can skip Deficit Reduction for Dummies.  Perhaps this will end the speculation over whether  the President refused to release his college transcripts because of poor grades in math, economics and finance.  With this type of strategic thinking, understanding how many zeroes there are in $1 trillion and how hard it is to earn enough money to cover a $15 trillion debt (via taxation) is almost irrelevant.  If for any reason the President fails to win re-election, he could always get a job as a community organizer in one of the Non-United States.  The Czar has a feeling that a lot of the President’s most ardent supports will have already moved there.

*****

T.J. O’Hara is a political satirist, media personality and author of three new books:  The Left isn’t Right, The Right is Wrong, and The National Platform of Common Sense.  He will be the Guest Host of The Rick Amato Show on February 22th on 1170 AM, KCBQ, San Diego, from 7:00-8:00 PM PST.  Listen live via the Internet at http://AmatoTalk.com.  Read more of T.J.’s work at The Common Sense Czar in the Communities at the Washington Times.

Website:                        www.TheCommonSenseCzar.net

To Order Books:          http://tinyurl.com/2a9rztg

Facebook Fan Page:  http://tinyurl.com/2dlwum7

Tweet the Czar:            @TCSCzar

*****

Copyright © 2011 T.J. O’Hara. To support viral distribution, this article may be copied, reprinted, forwarded, linked, or published in any form as long as proper attribution is given to the author and no changes are made.

Deficit Reduction for Dummies

Our country has just blown past the $14 trillion mark in National Debt.  It’s become increasingly obvious to me that our federal officials are living in their own versions of Fantasy Island.  You can almost see these intellectual midgets pretending they’re Tattoo … excitedly shouting, “De plane!  De Plane!”  We need Mr. Roarke to take them aside to tell them what we really need to hear is “De plan!  De plan!”  On the one hand, we have the Democrats, who haven’t quite figured out why they were drubbed in the November elections.  On the other hand, we have the Republicans, who think they had something to do with it.  The Democrats continue to believe that they can spend us out of debt, and the Republicans apparently believe that two-tenths of a percent reduction is a good starting point.  It’s safe to say that the Capitol Hill isn’t in need of a Mensa chapter.

The Democrats offer a mixed bag of solutions.  In his recent State of the Union address (which he echoed in his speech to the U.S. Chamber of Commerce), President Obama said he will veto any bill with earmarks, have his Administration develop a proposal to merge, consolidate, and reorganize the federal government, and freeze annual domestic spending at its current level for the next five years.  With respect to the first two commitments, perhaps it’s the President’s way of saying that he would support a repeal of the Health Care Reform Bill.  After all, it was “larded up” with enough pork to scare away the construction of a mosque, and it created 159 new agencies that will apparently have to be vetted to determine how they can be merged, consolidated and reorganized in a more efficient manner.  As for freezing annual domestic spending at its current level for the next five years, there are two challenges:  this would insure that the government could continue to spend at the highest rate in history; and, it only pertains to “domestic” spending, so we could continue to dig a bigger hole by spending more money abroad … perhaps in hopes of securing another Peace Prize.

Then, there’s Nancy Pelosi’s strategy for achieving economic growth.  She recommends using food stamps and unemployment insurance to stimulate the economy.  "It is the biggest bang for the buck when you do food stamps and unemployment insurance,” according to Nancy.  In theory, she says that every $1.00 of food stamps (or unemployment compensation) generates $1.79 in economic return.  If that’s the case, let’s just give $57,166 in food stamps and/or unemployment compensation to the 310 million people in the United States.  Putting that $17.7 trillion to work under the Pelosi plan would generate $31.7 trillion, which is enough to cover the $17.7 trillion investment and wipe out the $14 trillion debt.  Just do the algebra (or ask an Asian third grader to do it for you).  Where would we get the $17.7 trillion to fund the food stamps and unemployment compensation?  Well, there probably aren’t enough rich people to tax, so the government could just print it.  Don’t worry about inflation or the end of the U.S. dollar as the world’s reserve currency right now.  We’ll address those issues in one of the higher level courses that follow Deficit Reduction 101.

In the event that these options don’t solve the problem, we can always rely on the Republicans to introduce sound fiscal conservatism into the equation.  After all, look at the great job they did from 2002 to 2006 when they had control of the House, the Senate, and even the Presidency.  Okay, bad example!

What are the Republicans suggesting?  For starters, they have proposed $32 billion in cuts to current 2010 spending levels ($74 billion relative to President Obama’s requested 2011 budget).  That’s a little over two-tenths of one percent of the $14 trillion debt … which, by the way, is growing by about $3.8 billion every day.  So, the Republican solution would cover the interest expense for almost 8.5 days.  If this is the best they can do, there’s only one way we can respond:  fire them … and put them on food stamps and unemployment!

Fortunately, John Boehner, Eric Cantor, and Kevin McCarthy had lunch at the White House today with President Obama, Vice President Biden, and new Chief of Staff Bill Daley.  After their “kumbaya” moment, they proclaimed they had reached “common ground” with respect to the need to work together to cut spending.  Unfortunately, Cantor added, “I guess the particulars and the details will be where the disagreements may lie.’’   Obviously, these men aren’t going to be much help in solving the problem.

So, let’s turn to Deficit Reduction 101.

Rule #1:  “Politicians must recognize that the government is a consumer of cash that does not contribute to the Gross Domestic Product in any way.”  Admitting this is the first step toward recovery.

Rule #2:  “The government can’t spend more than it takes in.”  It’s just like having to balance a checkbook if you don’t have access to PAC graft.

Rule #3:  “You can’t keep taxing a higher percentage of people’s income to support your spending habits … even if you limit such increases to an inconsequential number of people in a way that secures the votes of a more significant base.”   As Margaret Thatcher so eloquently said, "The problem with socialism is that eventually you run out of other people's money.”

Rule #4:  “Start internally and eliminate all unnecessary expenditures.”  When companies are struggling, they cut costs.  It’s painful.  Get used to it.  No more extravagant travel; no more big parties; no more needless perquisites; lunches at the White House will be replaced by burgers at White Castle; and your entourages (otherwise known as staff) must be cut by immediately by 20 percent … 50 percent if you want to pretend you’re in the real world.  You’re not rock stars ... they actually generate revenue.  If the President was serious when he told the U.S. Chamber of Commerce, “We're trying to run the government more like you run your businesses,” then it’s time to “man up.”

Rule #5:  “When in doubt, call the Common Sense Czar.”  With 30+ years of turnaround experience, the Czar knows what it takes to “resurrect the dead.”  And right now, this country is on life support.  Don’t wait until our Nation has been pronounced dead, the toe tag is on, and the body bag is being zipped closed.  Leave your egos at the door and call upon people who know what they’re doing and don’t have to worry about being reelected.

The President is on the right track when he calls for running the government more like a business, liquidating unused federal assets, and consolidating federal agencies.  However, he’s deluding himself if he thinks that freezing the federal budget at its record high will help solve the problem.  That’s like buying a teenager a brand new sports car and punishing them for something the next year by only replacing it with a new version of the same model.  This isn’t rocket science.  Then again, that’s probably a good thing since we’ve already scrapped NASA’s budget.  Rather than investing our tax dollars in Fannie Mae, Freddie Mac, AIG, GM and Chrysler, maybe our government should invest in a little more “common sense.”  That’s a commodity that seems to be in great demand and short supply, so the return could be significant.  It’s either that … or pray that the next photo op for Boehner, Biden, Cantor, and the President will produce a better yield than their Happy Meal summit did this week.

*****

The National Platform of Common Sense addresses our Nation’s leadership issues and economic recovery in much greater depth.  Buy a copy to do your part to stimulate the economy.  It’s the least you can do to support your country!

*****

T.J. O’Hara is a political satirist, media personality and author of three new books:  The Left isn’t Right, The Right is Wrong, and The National Platform of Common Sense.  He will be the Guest Host of The Rick Amato Show on February 24th on 1170 AM, KCBQ, San Diego, from 7:00-8:00 PM PST.  Listen live via the Internet at http://AmatoTalk.com.  Read more of T.J.’s work at The Common Sense Czar in the Communities at the Washington Times.

Website:                        www.TheCommonSenseCzar.net

To Order Books:          http://tinyurl.com/2a9rztg

Facebook Fan Page:  http://tinyurl.com/2dlwum7

Tweet the Czar:            @TCSCzar

***** 

Copyright © 2011 T.J. O’Hara. To support viral distribution, this article may be copied, reprinted, forwarded, linked, or published in any form as long as proper attribution is given to the author and no changes are made.

President Obama and the “Tortured” Chamber of Commerce

Yesterday, President Obama carried his Teleprompters across Lafayette Square to the offices of the United States Chamber of Commerce.  The purpose of his visit was to “be more neighborly”“fruitcake” speech (to paraphrase the President’s opening remarks).  As he rounds the corner on his first term and his reelection metamorphosis continues, it’s interesting to explore how the President’s remarks might be “polished” in the name of “transparency.”  To do that, we’ll follow the same protocol I used in my books, The Left isn’t Right, The Right is Wrong, and The National Platform of Common Sense:  the text of the President’s actual address will be italicized and captured in quotation marks and the Czar’s “additions” will be in bolded italics.  While the entire text is too long for the purposes of this exercise, its excerpts will be addressed in the order in which they were delivered.  Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you the President of the United States … with a little help from the Czar! and deliver a

“I'm here today because I'm convinced we can and must work together.  Whatever differences we may have, I know that all of us share a deep belief in this country, our people, and the principles that have made America's economy the envy of the world.

“America's success didn't happen by accident.  It happened because of the freedom that has allowed good ideas to flourish, and capitalism to thrive.  It happened because of the conviction that in this country, hard work should be rewarded; that opportunity should be there for anyone willing to reach for it.”  That’s why today, in the spirit of the Super Bowl, I’m going to level the playing field.  No more entitlements!  If you don’t demonstrate a willingness to work hard, the government isn’t going to bail you out … and if you do work hard, we’re going to allow you to keep what you earn.  I’m not even going to use the power of my office to award the Lombardi trophy to my beloved Chicago Bears.  They lost in the playoffs … so, no trophy for them!

“The globalization of our economy means that businesses can now open up shop, employ workers and produce their goods wherever there is internet connection.  Tasks that were once done by 1,000 workers can now be done by 100, or even 10.  And the truth is, as countries like China and India grow and develop larger middle classes, it's profitable for global companies to aggressively pursue these markets and, at times, to set up facilities in these countries.”  That whole math thing about 10 workers being able to do the work of 1,000 scares me.  How do we create jobs as we become more productive?  Frankly, that’s one of the reasons I support unions; they encourage mediocrity which, in turn, can reduce productivity.  And while Tom Donohue and Richard Trumka may not be Facebook friends, I think this is an area in which the Chamber and big labor can come together.

“We know what it will take for America to win the future.  We need to out-innovate, out-educate, and out-build our competitors.  We need an economy that's based not on what we consume and borrow from other nations, but what we make and sell around the world.  We need to make America the best place on earth to do business.

“And this is a job for all of us.  As a government, we will help lay the foundation for you to grow and innovate.  We will upgrade our transportation and communications networks so you can move goods and information more quickly and cheaply.  We will invest in education so that you can hire the most skilled, talented workers in the world.  And we'll knock down barriers that make it harder for you to compete, from the tax code to the regulatory system.” This gets back to my Super Bowl analogy.  We’re not going to be able to continue to compete on a global basis unless we level the playing field.

As for transportation, we’ll actually try to find some of those “shovel ready” jobs I mentioned when I was trying to push the Stimulus Bill through.  I mean, how hard can it be to find roads with potholes in them?  And Japan and other countries have been using high speed rail for decades.  We haven’t done much from that perspective since President Lincoln signed the Pacific Railway Act back in 1862 to establish our nation’s first transcontinental railway.  We had cheap Chinese labor back then that made it all possible, which is why I support illegal immigration today!  In the alternative, we could return to President Clinton’s philosophy:  eliminate welfare for able-bodied individuals and provide them with a vocation (like building roads and railways).  I know that Nancy Pelosi favors food-stamps, but Bill did balance the budget and create a federal surplus.

As for the Internet, I’m going to leave that initiative in the able hands of Al Gore, who couldn’t be here today because he had already scheduled a massage.

“The third responsibility we have as a nation is to invest in the skills and education of our people.  If we expect companies to do business and hire in America, America needs a pool of trained, talented workers that can out-compete anyone in the world. That's why we're reforming K-12 education and training 100,000 new math and science teachers.”  Now, during my State of the Union address, I was dismissive of Asian academics when I said that “our students don’t just memorize equations,” but the fact of the matter is … they’re kicking our proverbial butts.

“Recently, I visited GE in Schenectady, New York, which has partnered with a local community college.  While students train for jobs available at the nearby GE plant, they earn a paycheck and have their tuition covered. As a result, young people can find work.  GE can fill high-skilled positions.  And the entire region has become more attractive to businesses.  It's win-win for everyone, and something we're trying to replicate across the country.”  It almost reminds me of the ‘Company Town’ approach that was popular back in the early 1900’s … right, Richard?

“To make room for these investments in education, innovation, and infrastructure, government also has a responsibility to cut the spending that we just can't afford.  That's why I've promised to veto any bill larded up with earmarks.”  Sure, I could have taken that stance when the Health Care Reform Bill was presented to me to sign, but I needed a major legislative accomplishment to put on my resume next to ‘community organizer.’  If I had know that people were paying attention and were going to lash out against my Party in the November elections, I might have handled it differently.

“In addition to making government more affordable, we're also making it more effective and customer-friendly.  We're trying to run the government more like you run your businesses - with better technology and faster services.  In the coming months, my administration will develop a proposal to merge, consolidate, and reorganize the federal government in a way that best serves the goal of a more competitive America.  And we want to start with the twelve different agencies that deal with America's exports.” We’ll even get rid of a few of the 159 new agencies we created in the Health Care Reform Bill and, perhaps most importantly, I’ll be dismissing the 40 Czars I’m paying big bucks to and replace them all with the Common Sense Czar.  When you think about it … he’s the only one we really need in Washington, D.C.

This brings me to the final responsibility of government: breaking down barriers that stand in the way of your success.  As far as exports are concerned, that means seeking new opportunities and opening new markets for your goods.  I'll go anywhere to be a booster for American businesses, American workers, and American products.”  As you may have noticed, Michelle and I love to travel, and we don’t know how much longer I’ll have this gig.  So, we’d like to go wherever we can as long as the American taxpayer is footing the bill.

“Another barrier government can remove is a burdensome corporate tax code with one of the highest rates in the world.  You know how it goes: because of various loopholes and carve-outs that have built up over the years, some industries pay an average rate that is four or five times higher than others.  … That's why I want to lower the corporate rate and eliminate these loopholes to pay for it, so that it doesn't add a dime to our deficit.”  I’m really a ‘big business’ kind of guy and I’m always in favor of reducing taxes.  Of course, come campaign time, I’ll revert back to the Robin Hood Strategy:  preaching that we should tax the rich and give to the middle class.  I know that it used to be ‘give to the poor,’ but they don’t contribute to campaign funds and turn out at the polls like the middle class.  That’s why we always talk about the middle class these days instead of the poor.

“The last barriers we're trying to remove are outdated and unnecessary regulations.  I've ordered a government-wide review, and if there are rules on the books that are needlessly stifling job creation and economic growth, we will fix them.  Already we're dramatically cutting down on the paperwork that saddles businesses with huge administrative costs.”  Let’s face it, if we really follow through on this, we may have to repeal the Health Care Reform Bill.  It would be easier  (and less embarrassing) than creating all those new agencies only to find that none of them are really necessary and that they only add to administrative costs of doing business.

  

“Now is the time to invest in America.  … I know that many of you have told me that you are waiting for demand to rise before you get off the sidelines and expand, and that with millions of Americans out of work, demand has risen more slowly than any of us would like.  But many of your own economists and salespeople are now forecasting a healthy increase in demand.  So I want to encourage you to get in the game.  And part of the bipartisan tax deal we negotiated, businesses can immediately expense 100 percent of their capital investments.”  Okay!  Tell the truth:  I sound like a Republican, don’t I?  You can almost see me moving toward the middle as my reelection campaign nears.

“And if there is a reason you don't share my confidence, if there is a reason you don't believe that this is the time to get off the sidelines - to hire and invest - I want to know about it.  I want to fix it.  That's why I've asked Jeff Immelt of GE to lead a new council of business leaders and outside experts so that we're getting the best advice on what you're facing out there.”  Jeff, as you may know, laid off tens of thousands of GE employees in the U.S. over the past few years while growing GE’s foreign workforce to 53 percent of its total workforce.  Over the past ten years while the DOW has remained relatively flat, GE’s biggest competitor’s stock has improved by over 50 percent … and GE’s stock has plummeted by more than 50 percent.  But let me be clear, Jeff has been a strong advocate of my Presidency.

“Roosevelt reached out to businesses; and business leaders answered the call to serve their country.  After years of fighting each other, the result was one of the most productive collaborations between the public and private sectors in American history … 1941 would see the greatest expansion of manufacturing in the nation's history.  And not only did this help us win the war.  It led to millions of new jobs and helped produce the great American middle class.”  Prior to that, Roosevelt’s New Deal wasn’t working any better than my Stimulus Bill.  Now, I’m not saying that all we really need is a good World War to get us right back on track, but it certainly didn’t hurt back then.

“We have faced hard times before.  We have faced moments of tumult and change before.  We know what to do.  We know how to succeed.  We are Americans.”  Well, at least you are … just kidding!  I’m just messing with the ‘birthers.’  And all that talk by my staff about how ‘no President in history has faced the challenges I have faced’ … it’s just political rhetoric.  I haven’t had to deal with a full-blown depression or a World War, let alone a Civil War.  Plus, I’ve gotten away with blaming my predecessor for almost everything … which would have been an unthinkable thing for a President to do in the past.  Truth be told, what I really need now is to get reelected.  It’s an ego thing.  Everybody who serves in this office has it, and now I need to broaden my base to secure my destiny.  So, just think of me as a ‘pro business’ guy who wants to cut red tape and taxes, and vote for me in 2012!

“Thank you.  God bless you.  And may God bless the United States of America.”

And with that, the President concluded his speech, glad-handed appropriate members of the audience, and disappeared into the afternoon sun … trying to escape the ire of the Left for fraternizing with the enemy … trying to get out of the room before the Right realized what he had really done … and leaving the AFL-CIO alone in its attempt to organize the employees of United States Chamber of Commerce. 

*****

T.J. O’Hara is a political satirist, media personality and author of three new books:  The Left isn’t Right, The Right is Wrong, and The National Platform of Common Sense.  He will be the Guest Host of The Rick Amato Show on February 24th on 1170 AM, KCBQ, San Diego, from 7:00-8:00 PM PST.  Listen live via the Internet at http://AmatoTalk.com.  Read more of T.J.’s work at The Common Sense Czar in the Communities at the Washington Times.

Website:                        www.TheCommonSenseCzar.net

To Order Books:          http://tinyurl.com/2a9rztg

Facebook Fan Page:  http://tinyurl.com/2dlwum7

Tweet the Czar:            @TCSCzar

***** 

Copyright © 2011 T.J. O’Hara. To support viral distribution, this article may be copied, reprinted, forwarded, linked, or published in any form as long as proper attribution is given to the author and no changes are made

Is the Egyptian Crisis Just Another Pyramid Scheme?

This has been a tough week for President Mubarak and President Obama.  The people of Egypt are revolting in the streets for the overthrow of President Mubarak, and President Obama is weighing his options when it comes to Mubarak, money, and the Muslim Brotherhood before placing his bet.  Mubarak’s Prime Minister and cabinet have already stepped down, and the President himself is now walking the plank.  Of course, you can expect times like these when you’re a despotic leader.  At that point, you just go to the playbook.  Despotic Leadership 101 says the first thing to do is to try to settle down the masses with a show of force.  Second:  fire everyone in power except yourself; after all, you’re a despotic leader, so you have to remain in power.  Third:  promise meaningful reform (even if you don’t mean it).  And finally:  if the crowd is still outside your palace gates with their proverbial pitchforks and torches … and if you’re 82 years old … it may be time to “hang up the tarboosh” and call it a day.  This is what President Mubarak is facing.

Across the pond, President Obama is struggling with yet another situation that just never arose during his extensive experience as a community organizer.  On the one hand, we’ve been backing the Mubarak regime with money and diplomatic support for many years and claimed him as our ally.  On the other, we’re supposed to be the bastion of freedom; something that hasn’t truly existed in Egypt since Emergency Law was declared.   Under Emergency Law, Egypt’s Constitution is temporarily suspended and police power is greatly expanded (similar to Martial Law).  While this might make sense if it was done recently to quell the current turmoil in the streets, it actually began in 1967 and has been in effect ever since (other than during an 18 month period during which Mubarak’s predecessor, Anwar El Sadat, was assassinated).

You’d think that Mubarak could have arrested the “state of emergency” during the 30 years he’s been in office.  After all, 30 years is a long time to be in power … unless you compare it to our Congressmen and Senators.  In that case, President Mubarak wouldn’t even make it into our All-Time Top 100, and among our current crew, Dingell, Inouye, Conyers, Rangel, Young (Bill), Cochran, Stark, Young (Don), Leahy, Baucus, Grassley, Harkin, Miller and Waxman would all beat Mubarak’s reign by at least six years.  If Joe Biden hadn’t become Vice President and many of his other colleagues either died, retired or been voted out of office this past year, the list would be considerably longer.  Corruption can occur among those who hold political office for too long a period of time … present company of Congressmen and Senators excepted of course.

Corruption is rampant in Egypt.  Transparency International tracks corruption among 178 different countries and assigns a Corruption Perceptions Index (or “CPI” - not to be confused with the Consumer Price Index) to those countries.  In 2010, Egypt ranked 98th out of 178.  To put that into perspective, the United States ranked 22nd (four places behind Qatar and two behind Chile) … and you know how corrupt things are in this country!

Then, there’s the whole torture “thing” under Emergency Law.  Mubarak’s former Minister of the Interior, Habib al-Adly, apparently got a little zealous with the right to imprison individuals for any period of time (without any real cause) and torture them while they’re in custody.  We get upset with a little water boarding of terrorist suspects who are trying to kill hundreds or thousands of us at a time.  Can you imagine how upset the Egyptians must be when they can be subjected to far worse forms of “enhanced interrogation techniques” because they may simply disagree with the government?

So, what should President Obama do?  Should he cut off the $1.5 billion in financial aid that we deliver to Egypt every year?   It’s not an easy decision.  First, it could risk the relationship that our government has in place with Egypt … and we’re not exactly “flush” with allies in the Middle East.  Secondly, much of that money is spent on military equipment.  Oh sure, Egypt buys a lot of its military equipment from other countries, but it still creates jobs in the United States through what it purchases from us.  Rumor has it that some of the protestors have been shot with American-made bullets.  Let’s hear it for capitalism!

Perhaps the most difficult part of the decision resides with a $1.1 million investment that Egypt makes directly in U.S. firms each year.  According to the Atlantic, Cairo pays lobbyists $1.1 million a year to “provide assistance and advice, as requested, to the Embassy in the task of securing and further enhancing the interests of Egypt in the United States in the political, economic, military and other fields.”   If we withdraw financial support from Egypt, that lobbying initiative could go away.  Besides, where would we spend the $1.5 billion we give Egypt if we didn’t spend it there.  Poverty and illiteracy are both hovering around 15 percent in the United States, but we seem to be comfortable with those numbers.

Of course, we are cheering for the Egyptians on the side of freedom.  Nancy Pelosi personally tweeted twice on the subject within the last few days, while John McCain asked, “What’s a ‘tweet?’”  The former Speaker tweeted:  “I support the democratic aspirations of the Egyptian people & right to peacefully protest,” and earlier, “I'm inspired by people of Egypt seeking real democracy & join Sec. Clinton in support of orderly transition to fair elections.”  Minority Leader Pelosi’s alignment with “democratic aspirations” is a given, and her support of “peaceful protests” heralds her belief in the First Amendment “right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.”  Nancy’s encouragement of an “orderly transition to fair elections” is a responsible position as well; although, it might be complicated by the protestors rejection of Mubarak’s offer to surrender his position in September by not running for reelection.

However, the most poignant element of Pelosi’s tweets was when she typed “I’m inspired by people of Egypt seeking real democracy …”  This may be indicative of a fundamental shift in her political position.  After all, it wasn’t too many months ago that she dismissed the Tea Party movement as “AstroTurf” rather than “grassroots” and likened its members to Nazis.  Weren’t the Tea Party rallies really about returning the United States to the path of individual freedoms prescribed by the Constitution and its Amendments?  The Tea Party protests would appear to be very similar to the protests in Egypt … except without the Molotov cocktails and vandalizing of peoples businesses and homes.  Then again, Egyptian residents can’t vote against Nancy, so that may be the real difference.

Moving to the other side of the aisle, some Conservatives have accepted the premise that if the Mubarak regime falls, the dreaded Muslim Brotherhood might take over Egypt and create the second-coming of Iran.  After all, President Mubarak has been warning the American public about this for years.  The only thing he has to gain from scaring us into believing that a radical Islam group might take over Egypt is the ongoing financial and diplomatic support of the United States.  He’s a politician.  Let’s just take him at his word!

The Muslim Brotherhood apparently wants to return Egypt to a non-secular state governed by Sharia law.  The fact that only about one percent of Egypt’s population is aligned with the Muslim Brotherhood doesn’t get in the way of fear mongering.  If there was an open and fair election, Egyptian women alone would prevent the Muslim Brotherhood from ever gaining power.  If you’re concerned about the likelihood of there ever being an “open and fair election” in Egypt, we could always send Jimmy Carter over there to audit the process.  With any luck, he might stay.

In any event, we should all hope that this situation resolves itself quickly so the Middle East can return to its normally tranquil state.  It’s almost irrelevant whether President Mubarak steps down immediately or the protestors accept his offer to leave office in September.  The real issue revolves around the fact that the current street violence is disrupting the tourist business as it pertains to the Pyramids and Sphinx.  As soon as everyone figures out that there’s money involved, they’ll probably reach an immediate agreement.  In the interim, the crisis has stimulated some new Internet workarounds and kept many news crews and Egyptian emergency room workers gainfully employed. So, to President Mubarak, the Muslim Brotherhood, and all the revolutionaries in the streets of Cairo's Tahrir square:  thanks for the only true reality TV we see in the United States.  Right now, you’re tied with American Idol.

*****

T.J. O’Hara is a political satirist, media personality and author of three new books:  The Left isn’t Right, The Right is Wrong, and The National Platform of Common Sense.  He will be the Guest Host of The Rick Amato Show on February 24th on 1170 AM, KCBQ, San Diego, from 7:00-8:00 PM PST.  Listen live via the Internet at http://AmatoTalk.com.  Read more of T.J.’s work at The Common Sense Czar in the Communities at the Washington Times (http://tinyurl.com/2bswngf).

Website:                        www.TheCommonSenseCzar.net

To Order Books:          http://tinyurl.com/2a9rztg

Facebook Fan Page:  http://tinyurl.com/2dlwum7

Tweet the Czar:            @TCSCzar

***** Copyright © 2011 T.J. O’Hara. To support viral distribution, this article may be copied, reprinted, forwarded, linked, or published in any form as long as proper attribution is given to the author and no changes are made.