Political Optimism

Many of you may believe that pessimism abounds in our society today. I pity your poor, misguided perception. You see … optimism should be flourishing in your lives. Although, I must admit that I too was pessimistic for a little while. It was probably just “negative press” that was creating the illusion of difficult times: economic woes, puerile and benighted government officials, the rising of a social divide, etc. What was I thinking? These are the greatest times we have ever experienced. This is a time of “Change We Can Believe In” (or “in which we can believe” if you paid attention in English class … although that no longer appears to be a required course).

Let me explain why I’m so optimistic. In just a little over a year, I have seen great new opportunities arise for everyone; opportunities that never existed in the past. Who would have thought you could not only run for President … but actually win … without any real leadership experience. In the old days (i.e., two to three years ago), society expected you to have credentials for any position in life … other than Congress. Congressional positions were reserved for those who lacked any marketable skills … not the Presidency. Today, anyone can apparently be elected President regardless of whether they have any discernible record of leadership achievement. This is reinforced by the fact that Vice President Biden and Speaker Pelosi are next in line, respectively, according to the laws of succession.

I also learned that I could win the Nobel Peace Prize … not by doing anything … but by offering “promise.” How cool is that? (See my October 9, 2009, blog, I Almost Won The Nobel Peace Prize, to see how close I came.) If that isn’t inspirational, I don’t know what is!

But wait, there’s more! In the past, I always thought Cabinet positions were reserved for the intellectual giants of our society; people whose collective accomplishments carved a record of triumph that surpassed the norms of mortal man. Now, you can become Secretary of State if you pose a political threat to re-election. Even more encouraging, you can become Secretary of the Treasury even if you haven’t paid your taxes because you didn’t understand the Internal Revenue Code. As the saying goes: “Only in America!”

And just this week, we learned that out of all of the individuals who have dedicated their life to “the bench” or to litigating in Federal Court, you can qualify to become a Supreme Court Justice without any judicial experience. Think about it. This is a lifetime appointment. It’s a position vested with the responsibility to interpret our Constitution and preserve the integrity of our legal system. Yet, the best we can do … out of the tens of thousands of qualified judges and highly skilled, practicing attorneys … is to nominate a candidate with virtually no real world, legal experience: Elena Kagan. But, hey … she taught at Harvard!

Of course, Ms. Kagan (I won’t call her Justice Kagan until she’s confirmed) chose to ignore a Federal law which required universities that accept Federal funds to allow on-campus military recruiting. Harvard accepts about $400 million in Federal funding each year (don’t ask why it needs it), but Ms. Kagan banned military recruiters from the Harvard campus because she disagreed with the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy with respect to gays in the military. Ms. Kagan is openly gay, so she felt that her personal beliefs should trump Federal law … always a good position for a potential Supreme Court Justice to demonstrate early in their career. Why let the law get in the way when it’s at odds with your personal lifestyle choice?

To her credit, she did take the case all the way to the Supreme Court … so, at least, she knows where it is. She lost; probably because the conservative members of the Court felt that they had to obey their oath and interpret the law rather than make it. You see, in the old days, only Congress had the right to make laws; something about the separation of power among the three branches of Federal government. Today, this old fashion idea has been circumvented by a more streamlined approach by liberal judges who chose to change the law on the fly. Of course, this may cause a few problems for you and me since we’ll never really know what the law is until after a judge decides, but what the heck … it is eminently more entertaining.

I guess it’s not a big deal. Supreme Court decisions really don’t carry much weight any more. Two weeks ago, the Supreme Court ruled in favor of permitting an eight-foot high cross that had been erected in the Mojave National Preserve 76 years ago by a group of World War I veterans to remain in place as a memorial to their fallen comrades. The cross was situated on a rock in the middle of the desert about 20 feet from a two-lane highway where approximately 10-20 cars pass each day. Evidently, this magnitude of visibility was just too much for some individuals to bear, so they stole the cross during the middle of the night. As a result, I’m even optimistic now. If you don’t like a law, you can just ignore it and take action into your own hands.

And speaking of the law, we are no longer subject to the old definitional constraint that “illegal” is the opposite of “legal.” Witness the immigration debate over the new Arizona law. While there may be a “legal” way to enter this country, there apparently is a perfectly acceptable “illegal” way to do it as well … at least, within the context that there no longer is any politically correct recourse to address one’s proactive choice to ignore the “legal” procedures that are in place. So, again, opportunity abounds! You can enter the United States “legally” … as my grandparents chose to do … but why bother? You can sneak into the United States and get health care, educational assistance, etc. without having to contribute to the cause. Heck, you don’t even need to learn how to speak English. And, God forbid (can I still say that?), don’t you dare ask me if I’m here “legally” if you have probable cause to believe I have otherwise violated the law, or I’ll feel “harassed.” Ah, yes … “America, the land of opportunity.”

Now, as the Common Sense Czar, I could just require one’s nationality to be confirmed and noted on a driver’s license and only allow such licenses to be issued to citizens and “legal” visitors (i.e., those with work visas, educational visas, etc.). Since no one seems to complain about being asked for his or her driver’s license when stopped by a law enforcement officer, that would solve the problem (at least with respect to those individuals who are 16 years or older). It would also be too easy to screen immigration through the distribution of any other social service (e.g., health care, education, etc.). Only legal residents could apply; all others would be deported. That would also eliminate the economic drain caused by funding programs that were never designed to reward illegal immigration. However, there’s a downside: we would lose one more “cause” to justify throwing bottles and rocks at law enforcement officers as a “peaceful” expression of our civil discontent … as compared to the non-violent protests associated with Tea-Party rallies that are often characterized by the media as demonstrations by angry mobs.

As the Common Sense Czar, I could also ordain that one had to be remotely qualified to be considered for a position … but that would be disruptive to our new social order. It would undoubtedly incite riots since it would infringe upon our inalienable right to remain unqualified; inherently creating a biased differentiation based upon effort and ability. We need to redistribute the opportunities; a passing grade for all and a trophy for everyone! That’s what has made America great. Qualifications should only enter into the equation if we can establish a few new governmental agencies to promulgate and enforce new regulations to protect us from ourselves.

No, I much prefer to remain overwhelmingly optimistic. I have so many more opportunities in my life than ever before. I can pick and choose among the laws I choose to obey; I can express myself violently as long as I attach my behavior to a social cause; and I can be President, a Nobel Peace Prize Winner, a member of the Cabinet, and even a Supreme Court Justice … all without having had to dedicate myself in any way or demonstrate any particular level of competence. However, I’m not totally naïve. I realize that I have to overcome being a white, heterosexual male who believes in God. While, realistically, those characteristics represent major obstacles to overcome in our politically correct world, I am still totally optimistic. At some point, people will run out of other “causes” and begin to petition on my behalf. I just can’t wait!

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© 2010 by Dr. T.J. O’Hara. To support viral distribution, this article may be copied, reprinted, forwarded, linked, or published in any form as long as proper attribution is given to the author and no changes are made.