Return of the Czar

I apologize for my long absence, but popular demand required the development of a new blog just for “the Czar.” Also, due to the requests that I received from so many of you, I have spent the summer writing three new books:

The Left isn’t Right
The Right is Wrong
The National Platform of Common Sense

The Left isn’t Right and The Right is Wrong are satirical assessments of the National Platforms proffered by the Democratic National Committee and the Republican National Committee, respectively, during the last Presidential campaign. And of course, The National Platform of Common Sense was required to fix the mess left behind by the other two Platforms. Here’s an excerpt from the Introduction to better explain the premise:

“I find that people are generally disenchanted with our politicians. However, it would be inappropriate to blame the inmates for the way they run the asylum. After all, they do warn us … particularly in Presidential election years when they author National Platforms that define their positions. Yet, few of us ever take the time to read those documents to truly understand each Party’s position … even though their positions and underlying beliefs will drive the decisions that dictate the direction in which our country will be headed … or should that be spelled “beheaded?” Shame on us!

“Instead, we tend to take the easy way out and just listen to their speeches and debates (at least as much as them as we can stand); we watch their negative ads (positive ones went away a generation ago); and we let politically jaded wolves, who like to parade around in the sheep’s clothing of “reporting the news” (once an honored profession), deliver thinly veiled versions of their personal opinions and beliefs. As the Common Sense Czar, I say we take a new approach: read the words the Parties have committed to writing and for which we can hold them accountable.

“Now, I know this is a challenging suggestion because Party Platforms are always filled with political platitudes to their own greatness, grossly exaggerated vilifications of the “Opposition,” and a tediously repetitive casting of the of the same old drivel in hopes of gaining a vote. Well, as the Common Sense Czar, I’ve decided to make the endeavor far more entertaining, informative and worthy of your time.

“In hopes of getting you to actually read what the two major Parties have written, I have “channeled” them (in two separate books) … not only providing you with the exact transcript of their Platforms (misspellings and grammatical errors included) … but my own satirical interpretation of what they were actually thinking at the time.”

This Nation’s political landscape has become quite polarized. For example: Liberals won’t read a book by a Conservative leader (e.g., Newt Gingrich), and Conservatives won’t read a book by a Liberal leader (e.g., Bill Clinton). As a result, there never is an effective exchange of ideas between the two major Parties. Cognitive dissonance precludes political zealots from entertaining the thought that their “opponent” might have a point.

It is my belief that humor can transcend the “intellectual wall” that both sides have been so fervently constructing. In addition, it can be seductive. While Conservatives are naturally drawn to books that eviscerate the Democratic Party and Liberals are naturally drawn to books that eviscerate the Republican Party, they can be enticed to experience new ideas if they are entertained along the way. Beyond that, in phenomenon akin to “not being able to divert your eyes when you pass a really bad automobile accident,” I believe that your curiosity will get the best of you and you will be compelled to read your own Party’s Platform … just to see the beating it takes!

A funny thing will happen along the way: perhaps for the first time in your life, you will have read the Platforms of both major Parties and be in a position to make a more informed decision with respect to your support or rejection of their ideals. Then, since many of you will be “disappointed” with the what these “brain trusts” have put together, you’ll be able to read The National Platform of Common Sense, which integrates a hopefully interesting historical primer with the Common Sense Czar’s own satirical assessment of what can be done to restore the Republic.

The manuscripts are complete and ready to go to press. The challenge now will be finding a publisher that’s not afraid to print the books and can get them into distribution in time to wreak havoc on the November elections. I’m hoping that capitalistic interests will overwhelm at least one major publisher and that it will recognize that, unlike traditionally-biased political offerings, the Common Sense Czar’s trilogy should appeal to the entire market (not just the Conservatives or the Liberals). With any luck, the lure of selling lots of books will appeal to them and they’ll jump through a few hoops that they would otherwise avoid.

If any of you have direct or indirect contacts with any book publisher(s), please let me know. There’s a complimentary, autographed copy of the trilogy waiting for you at the end of that rainbow! :O) In all seriousness, I will sincerely appreciate any introductions you can make that can shorten the cycle normally associated with getting a new book into circulation.

All my best,

The Common Sense Czar

Copyright © 2010 Dr. T.J. O’Hara. To support viral distribution, this article may be copied, reprinted, forwarded, linked, or published in any form as long as proper attribution is given to the author and no changes are made.