In keeping with the times, I've created a "tweetable" Christmas List. Please feel free to cut and paste the "tweets" of your choice and send them on their merry way across the endless bounds of the Internet.
A Hearing Aid for Congress: to help them listen to the People
A New Broom for Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-CA): to clean out her office and provide her with transportation since they took away her jet
A Box of Tissues for Minority Leader John Boehner (R-OH): to help him make it through an interview
A Conscience for Rep. Alan Grayson (D-FL): to help him make better advertising decisions
A Dictionary for Rep. Daniel Webster (R-FL): because it just seems right
A 365-Day Calendar for Sec. Janet Napolitano: so she can mark which day the Dept. of Homeland Security gets to take off
A Tax Accountant for Sec. Timothy Geithner (Treasury) and Rep. Charlie Rangel (D-NY): because mistakes happen
A Sympathy Card for Rep. Charlie Rangel (D-NY): because how was he supposed to know the rules of his own Committee after only 39 years
A Happy Meal for President Obama’s Children: because their mother won’t let them have one
A Backup Generator for the TelePrompTer for President Obama: so he won’t be left speechless
A New Name for Rep. Anthony Weiner (D-NY): need I really explain?
An Unsinkable Island for Rep. Hank Johnson (D-GA): so he won’t have to worry about Guam
A Nice Vacation for First Lady, Michelle Obama: because she never gets to take one
A Map of the United States for the President: so he can keep track of how many States there really are
An American Housekeeper and Gardener for Sec. Janet Napolitano: so she won’t need a translator
A Personality for Press Secretary Gibbs: so reporters will actually want to attend press conferences
A Much Shorter Mustache and an Outfit from Jesse James for Senior Advisor, David Axelrod: so he can win the look-alike contest
A Toad, Bat Wing and Eye-of-Newt for Christine O’Donnell: since the Congressional gig didn’t work out.
A New Accent for Sarah Palin: so people outside of Alaska, Minnesota and the upper New England States can relate to her
A Countrywide-Refi for Sen. Barbara Boxer (D-CA): who already has 7 while presiding over ethics investigations of Senators Dodd and Conrad
An “Office” Next to Blago’s for Rahm Emmanuel: since they share so much in common when it comes to Chicago politics
A Home in the Hamptons for Sen. John Ensign (R-NV): since he’s put so much into the relationship to date
A Gift of Freddie and Fannie for Rep. Barney Frank (D-MA): in appreciation of the way in which he chose to mortgage his career
An Earring of Some Sort for Rep. Hal Rogers (R-KY): for his record breaking earmarks … including those for the benefit of his family
A Senate Seat for Jesse Jackson Jr. (D-IL): since he wasn’t able to buy one from Blago despite his best efforts
A Bank Loan for Rep. Maxine Waters (D-CA) (or a job for her husband): so that her work on behalf of lobbyists and banks won’t go unrewarded
A Series of Dance Lessons for Tom Delay (R-TX): so he can learn new skills while performing his ground-breaking new government job
A Presidential Pardon for Sen. Chris Dodd (D-CT) (should he ever need one): in return for some real estate in Ireland.
A Deck of Cards to entertain Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV): so he’ll stop playing games with our country
A Relaxing Retirement for Sec. Hilary Clinton: since she swears she will never run for office again
An Apology from the Rest of the World to All Americans: just because it would be nice for a change
Merry Christmas to All ... and to All a Good Life!
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Copyright © 2010 T.J. O’Hara. To support viral distribution, this article may be copied, reprinted, forwarded, linked, or published in any form as long as proper attribution is given to the author and no changes are made.
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