Thanksgiving Musings

It’s Thanksgiving!  I heard that the President pardoned a turkey today.  I’m not sure what gaffe Vice President Biden made, but it’s nice that the President is such a forgiving individual.

Consider how delighted the Pilgrims would be to live in our times.  No, not because there have been so many advancements or that our lives are less difficult … but because they could wander down the streets of Washington, D.C., turn in an any direction, fire their muskets, and have a great chance of hitting a “turkey.”  Whether you spell it “fowl” or “foul,” there have never been so many “turkeys” at one place in time as there are in our Nation’s capital. 

But enough about politics!  It’s Thanksgiving, so let us “give thanks.”  I don’t know about you, but I like holidays that give me an idea of what I should do when they arise … and perhaps no other secular holiday does this as well as Thanksgiving.  Look at it through the eyes of a child (to preserve some degree of purity), and you’ll see what I mean.

When I was a child, I knew that New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day were specific days, but their names didn’t give me a clue as to what they represented in the adult world (i.e., a Bacchanalian night of revelry followed by a day of recovery while watching football).

Martin Luther King, Jr. Day didn’t even exist until 1983 … a date well past my childhood years.  Even so, it doesn’t exactly give us much guidance as to what we should do.  It clearly recognizes the life of an individual, but there isn’t any clarion call to celebrate that life in any specific way on that day.

When I was a child, we had Abraham Lincoln’s birthday George Washington’s birthday almost back-to-back with Valentine’s Day sandwiched in between.  With regard to the birthdays, I knew that they singled out Abraham Lincoln and George Washington as particularly great Presidents … but again, what was I to do?  Of course, in the 1980s, the two birthdays were consolidated into Presidents Day to honor the two of them simultaneously (as Lincoln’s birthday was never really a Federal holiday but made for a great retail sales opportunity).  Today, the holiday’s name is so nebulous that I’ll bet most children think it applies to all Presidents … sort of in the nature of the “everyone gets a trophy” mentality that is so prevalent today.  And hence, some children sing, “Mmm Mmm Mmm … Barack Hussein Obama!” … even though the day doesn’t technically celebrate Presidents in general.

As for Valentine’s Day, I was terribly conflicted as a child, and its name gave me little direction.  I knew about the candy and cards, but I also heard about a certain massacre that happened on the same day.  As a result, I recall thinking that if you didn’t give your sweetheart a nice card and some candy that she liked, she might have you killed!  That’s quite a burden on a child.  Why don’t they just rename it “Support Hallmark, Brach’s and the Rip-Off Florist-of-Your-Choice Day?”  Then, we’d all instinctively understand what it’s about.

Then, there’s Memorial Day.  As a child, I recognized that I was supposed to remember something or someone, but I wasn’t quite sure what or who.  While it has grown to be a very meaningful holiday from my perspective, as a child, it would have been helpful to call it “Say a Pray for Fallen Veteran’s Day” or something like that.

And how about Independence Day.  Was I supposed to ignore my parents and act like I was “independent?”  I didn’t know.  I was just a kid!  And today, it’s even worse.  Children don’t even know that it’s Independence Day.  They just think it’s the Fourth of July.  Well, duh!  And the next day is the Fifth of July!  Adults are soooooo stupid!  I think we should rename the holiday, or at least tie the “Independence” back to our country in some way.  Otherwise, we should just rename it Fireworks and Picnic Day, since that’s pretty much all that children think it is at this point.

I have to admit, Labor Day always confused me.  If it’s “Labor” Day, why do adults get to take the day off work?  Shouldn’t they be “laboring?”  It never really made any sense to me … and it really still doesn’t.  I think they just inserted it into the calendar to give children a break from their first week or two of school.  Nobody should have to return to school on a full-time basis after a three-month vacation without some sort of break-in period.  To this day, I believe that’s why the holiday actually exists.

Next, we have Veterans Day.  As a child, this caused a lot of confusion for me with respect to Memorial Day (although I’ve noticed that a lot of adults seem to confuse Memorial Day with Labor Day as well).  I could never really understand why we celebrated the armed forces twice a year.  It was easier for me when Veterans Day used to be called Armistice Day because I could tie it to an event in history.  However, even that didn’t give me a lot of direction.  I just knew that we would go to a store and I was supposed to wear a paper poppy boutonniere for the rest of the day.

I won’t get into religious holidays other than to say that most of them aren’t particularly descriptive either.  Luckily, they’re marketed better, so most children quickly embrace their “retail” definition … if not their actual significance.

Then, there’s good old Thanksgiving!  Even as a child, I could wrap my mind around that one.  Oh sure, my elementary school teachers may have butchered the actual history of the holiday; and it was years before I knew that it didn’t officially exist on an ongoing basis until 1863 when Lincoln proclaimed it as such (which may be why he got his own day for awhile); or that it changed under FDR from the last Thursday in November to the fourth Thursday in November in 1939 to better separate the two holiday seasons for retail sales purposes; or that it only took another two years for Congress to ratify his recommendation (proving that some things never change); but I love it for its simplicity.

So, take a little time to reflect upon your blessings this Thanksgiving … and “give thanks” for them.  If you seriously can’t think of a single blessing … perhaps you should give thanks for the fact that, by your own definition, your life can only improve.  For those of you who have less trouble identifying your areas of good fortune, please “give thanks” … and hope that the same grace might be shared by others.

And for those of you who ask, “give thanks to whom?”  … I really don’t care.  Most people will “give thanks” to God.  If that doesn’t suit your set of beliefs, then “give thanks” to the universe … or nature … or your pet rock … or cell phone.  You’ll have accomplished two things:  first, you’ll have taken time to reflect upon your life and to put it into a positive perspective; and second, you have acknowledged that you are not alone in this world.  How hard can it be, I had enough common sense as a child to figure it out … just from the name.

So, Happy Thanksgiving to you … and please know that I count you among my blessings!

*****

Copyright © 2010 T.J. O’Hara. To support viral distribution, this article may be copied, reprinted, forwarded, linked, or published in any form as long as proper attribution is given to the author and no changes are made.

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Swamp Thing ... The Sequel

Have you read the Op-Ed piece by Nancy Pelosi in USA TODAY?  (http://www.usatoday.com/news/opinion/forum/2010-11-10-column10_ST2_N.htm)  It’s great stuff and I agree with almost everything she says.

Her article touts the accomplishments of the 111th Congress over which she presided; stating that unnamed “Congressional experts” consider it to be “the most productive Congress in a half-century.”   You know me … I wanted to make sure that I completely understood the meaning of the word “productive,” so I looked it up.  The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines “productive” as “having the power or quality of producing especially in abundance.”   In that regard, I agree with the assessment.  The 111th Congress produced a lot of things in abundance including, but not limited to pork-barrel deals for votes, a ridiculous number of new agencies and, of course, an unconscionable level of debt.  Nice job!

Nancy is so proud that she’s holding a reception “honoring the Accomplishments of the 111th Congress on Wednesday, the tenth day of November, two thousand ten at three thirty in the afternoon, Cannon Caucus Room 345, Cannon House Office Building.”   Somehow, my personal invitation must have gotten lost in the mail, but I’m sure she meant to send one to me.  I have a history of missing great events like this.  I’m told that George Armstrong Custer felt the same way about his 7th Cavalry and was planning a similar fete … or should I say fate.

Come to think of it, Custer and Pelosi have a lot in common.

• Both rose through the ranks; Custer was brevetted to Major General during the Civil War, and Nancy became the first female Minority Leader and then Speaker of the House.

• After the war, Custer remained in the Army and was appointed to the lesser military grade of Lieutenant Colonel; after the mid-term elections, Nancy is lobbying to become the new Minority Leader.

• Custer was sure that his forces would overwhelm the Indians at the Little Big Horn; Nancy chastised Press Secretary Gibbs (back in July) for even suggesting that there was a possibility that the Democrats could lose the House in the mid-term elections.

Of course, that’s where the similarities end.  Custer lost his own life as well as that of all his men.  Nancy was able to win reelection while the Democratic Party merely suffered a loss of its 77 member advantage in the House and move toward a 49 member disadvantage.  From Custer’s perspective, that’s hardly a flesh wound!

Interestingly enough, the prevailing thought back in 1874 (according to the Secretary of War) was that the Government’s largess of “coffee, sugar and beef”  had “taken the fight out of the Indians.”   Surely, if you give people something for “free,” they’ll “mellow out” and become complacent.  Political elitists are surely safe to verbally dismiss an apparent “grass roots movement” as nothing more than “Astroturf.”   Isn’t it funny how history repeats itself?  As George Santayana stated in Reason in Common Sense, The Life of Reason, Vol.1, “Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it."  By the way, nice title, George!  But I digress.

Back to Nancy’s Op-Ed piece.  Nancy is all smiles (no big surprise there) about 111th Congress.  It’s a little bit like Custer taking the position that he would have won the Battle of the Little Big Horn if only he wouldn’t have run out of men before the Indians ran out of ammunition. 

America’s Sweetheart tells us that “President Obama and this Congress were job creators from Day One, saving the country from the worst economic catastrophe since the Great Depression”  and that “The Recovery Act created or saved more than 3 million jobs, and America is moving forward. October marks the 10th straight month of private sector job growth.”  That’s why unemployment has plummeted to below 8 percent just as the President stated it would.  If you feel a Wizard of Oz moment coming on, just go with it …“Ignore the man behind the curtain.”  And while we’re at it Madame Speaker, you may want to get in line in front of the Scarecrow.

Nancy asserts that “Our Democratic members took tough votes to support America's working families, putting the American people before politics and thinking of the next generation, not the next election.”  Again, just ignore all the behind-closed-doors meetings and pork-barrel deals that were proffered during her reign.  They had nothing to do with politics.  And the $13+ trillion deficit?  It’s all for the next generation … really!

She incorporates the traditional “Wall Street” versus “Main Street” theme that has become so popular, a “Make It in America” phrase, and an allusion to “the largest investment in student aid in our nation’s history, reducing the cost of loans to families” that somehow apparently has the impact of “reducing the deficit.”

For comic relief, Nancy adds, “And we did all of this while restoring fiscal discipline to the Congress by making the pay-as-you-go rules the law of the land.”  That must explain the Congressional spending spree that amassed a $13+ trillion deficit that exceeded the debt of every prior Presidency … cumulatively.

“We are proud to have passed historic health insurance reform that includes a Patient's Bill of Rights to lower health costs and improve quality,” she continues.  Of course, we have no empirical evidence that health care costs have been lowered or that the quality of health care has been improved, but she wouldn’t mislead us … she’s a politician!

Let’s have some fun and parse in a few comments to the rest of her Op-Ed piece (much like I do in my books, The Left isn’t Right and The Right is Wrong).  I’ll use bolded text to distinguish the comments of the Common Sense Czar from the "non-bolded, italicized quotations of the Speaker."

“Democrats will continue to put forward innovative ideas, engage in entrepreneurial thinking and work to create the jobs for middle class prosperity.”  Notice, I said “continue” as if we’ve actually been doing this for the past two years … much less for the four years that we’ve in fact controlled the House.  Under my leadership, we’ve pursued the “innovative” idea of spending well beyond our means with every intention of taxing our way out of the problem; and our idea of entrepreneurial thinking includes nationalizing industries while giving ownership to special interest groups that deliver money and votes to our campaigns.  Oops!  I mean unions that support the American way of life!  And we’re looking for ways to create “jobs for middle class prosperity.”  Screw poor people!  We’ve figured out that there aren’t enough of them that vote to get us reelected.

“Republicans and Democrats must work together, with President Obama, to prepare for our nation for the 21st century while creating clean energy and infrastructure jobs.”  Oh sure, some of you might point out that we’re already a tenth of the way through the 21st century, but it’s just a rhetorical expression.

“As we go forward, we welcome Republican ideas about job creation.”  Let’s face it … we have to!  They killed us in the last election, and we’ve got about as much of a chance of cramming through legislation as Charlie Sheen has of being a positive role model.

“Though they elected a new majority in Congress, Americans did not vote for the special interests.”  That’s exactly why we lost! 

“They voted for jobs.”  Which again is why we lost!

“Democrats remain committed to fighting for the people's interests, not the special interests.”  Okay, we’re just kidding.  We still intend to support unions as well as every “oppressed minority” we can identify and get to believe that we’re their champion!

“While the election is over, the urgent needs of the American people remain.”  Those "needs" remain because we did little to eliminate them during our reign.

“Over the past several days, I have spoken with my Democratic colleagues about where we go from here.”  Apparently, a lot of them are packing up their offices and moving back to their home States.  Maybe we can get unemployment benefits extended again because those guys are going to need them.

“I have heard from Americans across our country who are relying on us to continue our fight to create jobs, hopefully in a bipartisan way, and move our nation forward.”  Just between us girls, I think that was really their message in this past election.  We’d better start working together in a bipartisan way and move our nation forward.

“We will begin the 112th Congress with talented new colleagues, and also with a renewed dedication to fighting every day for jobs, economic recovery and the middle class.”  Notice that while we eschew “special interests,” we always single out the middle class.  The rest of Americans don’t count because there aren’t enough of them to restore us to power.

So ends the Speaker’s Op-Ed piece and the Common Sense Czar’s running commentary.  It seems to me that Nancy hasn’t learned a lot from her recent experience.  For the past two years, she’s gotten a “pass” for the 110th Congress that was also under her leadership.  You know … the one that passed the legislation that precipitated a lot of our current economic turmoil.  While it’s more fun to blame the President (be it Bush or Obama), the reality is that the real legislative power resides with the House and the Senate (read about Article I, Section 8 of the Constitution in The National Platform of Common Sense), and Nancy has been in charge of the House for two consecutive terms.

Still, you’ve got to admire our outgoing Speaker.  Who can forget her memorable quote from 2006, “You must drain the swamp if you are going to govern for the people.”   Just this Summer, she triumphantly stated, “Drain the swamp we did, because this was a terrible place.”  Democrats Charlie Rangel and Maxine Waters (both reelected by overwhelming majorities) confirmed her assertion on their way to their respective ethics hearings.  Apparently, a large number of Americans didn’t get the memo and decided to do some additional cleansing on November 2nd. 

In all fairness to Nancy, as the old saying goes:  "When you're up to your ass in alligators, it's sometimes difficult to remember that your mission was to drain the swamp."  Personally, I think the “swamp” could still use a little more attention on both sides of the aisle.  Maybe we should put in a call to Wes Craven for a sequel.

***** 
Copyright © 2010 Dr. T.J. O’Hara. To support viral distribution, this article may be copied, reprinted, forwarded, linked, or published in any form as long as proper attribution is given to the author and no changes are made.

Trick or Treat?

My apologies for not having written anything last week, but I was in the midst of a book tour that ended in Washington, D.C. the day after the mid-term elections.  Let the record show that I flew into D.C. on October 31st from my tour in Ohio, and the President flew to Ohio that same morning … probably to repair any damage I may have done from his perspective.  Luckily for me, he doesn’t have to fly commercial, which allowed him to return D.C. that same day.

I say “luckily for me” because I was determined to trick-or-treat the White House that evening … both to celebrate Halloween and to test the effectiveness of the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act of 2009 (i.e., the Stimulus Bill).  How, you may ask, would “trick-or-treating” the White House provide insight to our Nation’s economic recovery?  Well, I figured if the President was passing out the BIG candy bars, it would be a clear indication that our economic recovery was indeed proceeding as well as he has been suggesting.  Conversely, if he was just passing out a lousy piece of bubble gum (and no, I don’t mean the type that Paris Hilton seems to confuse … I mean real bubble gum), then all the reported success of the program might just be political spin.

I even had a plan to penetrate the defenses of the White House’s perimeter if the Secret Service had designs on restricting visitors that evening.  I asked my wife, who is a tall blond, to dress in a red sari.  I, in turn, was going to dress in a tuxedo, and the two of us were going to go as Michaele and Tareq Salahi.  Hey, they got into the President’s first State Dinner that way.  Who knows?  It might have worked for us as well.  Besides, the costumes would at least be appropriately “scary” to Washington insiders!

Alas, no disguise was needed as the President and the First Lady graciously greeted visitors … at least until the paparazzi left.  Much to my chagrin, there was to be no portent of economic indicators that evening.  Only the balance of power was on display for all to see.  By that, I mean that the pecking order appears to be the First Lady … followed by the President of the United States.  You see, the President and First Lady were handing out dried fruit.  Dried fruit!  It apparently had something to do with the First Lady’s quest to resolve childhood obesity in our country; a laudable goal, but certainly not the equivalent of allowing the President to send a clear and convincing message to our citizens concerning the success of his economic initiatives.  Besides, it really didn’t satisfy my sweet tooth.  I was hoping for the best of both worlds:  to score a full size candy bar to satisfy my craving; and to receive strong evidence of our economic recovery.  But nooooooo!  All I got was some dried fruit!

Washington, D.C., is apparently turning into another San Francisco … which, days later, officially banned Happy Meals.  Our Nation is apparently in decay … or perhaps trying to avoid it from a dental perspective when it comes to candy.  First it was candy; then it was toys.  Where will government intervention stop?  What’s next to destroy “childhood” as we once knew it?  No presents at Christmas?  We’re already not allowed to display trees or to sing carols except under cloak of darkness.

Hang on a second … I’ve got some dried fruit caught in my teeth.

Okay, I’m back!

Well, the answer came just days later … and in resounding fashion.  “We, the People” spoke.  We’re apparently tired of getting dried fruit on Halloween!  Sometimes it takes an issue of that magnitude to wake up the American public.  On November 2nd, the electorate spoke, and the President and his cronies had to listen … well, at least the cronies who still had jobs in Washington, D.C., or in their State or local assemblies.

Luckily, while the vast majority of voters expressed a whole new wave of “Change You Can Believe In,” we retained a modicum of the status quo.  Many of us remained “uninformed” and only voted on emotion.

Case in point:  the incumbent Congressman from the 4^th District of Georgia was reelected by a 76% to 25% percent margin.  Impressive!  Equally impressive:  this is the same Congressman who thought Guam might “tilt over and capsize” if we built a naval base on one end of it (visit http://vimeo.com/10644839 to experience the intellectual capital that’s assessing our 1000+ page bills).

California joined in the action as well … and on several levels.  First of all, many of its voters were too stoned to vote “Yes” on Proposition 19 to legalize the recreational use of marijuana.  When they regained a degree of lucidity, they must have been saying “Bummer, dude!”

Then, California voters elected Democrat Jenny Oropeza to the State’s 28^th Senate District.  She defeated Republican John Stammreich by a 57.8 to 36.3 percent margin.  My congratulations go to Jenny in spirit, and my sincere thoughts and prayers go to her family and friends.  You see, Senator Oropeza unfortunately passed away two weeks before the election.  Of course, that just may have extended her base to include all the dead people who traditionally register and vote in California elections. 

While John Stammreich may have run an ineffective campaign, he wasn’t alone.  California’s most prestigious elections involved two women who enjoyed enormous notoriety:  Carly Fiorina and Meg Whitman.  Both enjoyed distinguished records of success in the “Old Boys’ Club” known as “Big Business.”  Surely, they would bring a refreshing and pragmatic view to a State whose economy had been decimated over the years by politicians who apparently thought that Proposition 19 had already passed.  To make it even easier, they were running against Green Party candidates, Barbara Boxer and Jerry Brown, respectively.

What?  You say that Barbara Boxer and Jerry Brown were running as Democrats.  Well sure they were running as Democrats, but they really had to be considered to be members of the Green Party.  I mean, can you think of two candidates who were more “recycled” than these two? 

True to her name, Barbara “Boxer” won a split decision over a “game” but inexperienced opponent in Carly Fiorina.  Fiorina fell behind on points and didn’t try for a knockout when she needed one to win.  Boxer “cut” Fiorina in the middle rounds with ads that emphasized Fiorina’s dastardly tour of duty as CEO of Hewlett Packard during which she cut jobs and “shipped them overseas.”  Rather than fighting back by explaining that those cuts were necessary to remain competitive as well as to expand HP’s global business, Fiorina just keep taking Boxer’s political punches.  She easily could have pointed out that at least she had to make those kinds of decisions, while Boxer had been comfortably padding her record with 28 years of ineffective service.  It would have been a more interesting match had Fiorina asked two questions:  “Tell us Barbara, can you name 28 significant accomplishments you have achieved in your 28 years as a Senator?” … and “Barbara, just out of curiosity, what job do you think a Fortune 10 company would deem you to be qualified to perform?”  Boxer’s silence would have been deafening, and I personally think a referee would have had to stop the bout to prevent Boxer from absorbing any more unnecessary punishment.

That brings us to the Gubernatorial race.  In the last Presidential election, Californians thought John McCain was “too old” to lead our Nation.  So, could there be any doubt that a 71 year old Jerry Brown wasn’t going to be linked to Lady Gaga as he was “back in the day” to Linda Ronstadt?

Interestingly enough, Jerry Brown’s ads were virtually devoid of any reference to the Democratic Party other than in their fine print.  Immediately below his name, they proclaimed his “independence.”  In several of his ads, he stated that at his age, he can finally exercise “independent judgment” … giving credence to the fact that he was just a Party “puppet” since he began his political career in 1969; the same year that Man first landed on the moon and Ted Kennedy was still learning to drive.

He did run what I thought was the most effective campaign ad I’ve seen in years:  the Twins ad that tied Meg Whitman to Governor Schwarzenegger (whose was polling high “negatives”) by mirroring their campaign phrases and finishing her off with her head superimposed on Danny Devito’s body in the famous movie poster.  Very clever … and high marks to Governor Brown’s marketing team!   Meg Whitman’s response?  An ad that featured a dour Meg Whitman, emotionlessly saying something alone the lines of “I know I’m a billionaire with no political experience and that you think you’ve got two poor choices for Governor … but I’m the lesser of two evils.”  If Meg Whitman were a vampire, she’d drive a stake through her own heart!  That level of stupidity deserves to lose … and did … by a lot.

And speaking of vampires, I can confidently say that Christine O’Donnell was unfairly maligned as a “witch.”  As she self proclaimed, she is “not a witch.”  I know.  I was in Washington, D.C. on election night (and the next day) after O’Donnell had been handed her proverbial broomstick in a 17 point defeat … and not a single Senator or Congressman was turned into a toad.  Had she actually been a witch, no one would have been safe.

Speaking of which … or is that “witch” (I get the two confused) … my wife and I did stop by former Speaker Pelosi’s office to see if she wanted any assistance in packing up her office, but she wasn’t answering her door.  She apparently wasn’t feeling well.  Staff members said that she felt like a House had fallen down upon her … and that she also couldn’t receive us because someone had stolen her ruby slippers.

Oh well, in the world of politics, as much as things seem to change … they also seem to stay the same.  A contrite President boarded his plane for a 10-day swing through the Pacific rim as my wife and I boarded our commercial flight to return home.  Conservative media fanned the flames of dissension by asserting that the President’s entourage was projected to cost $200 million per day, which seems like a ridiculously inflated number to me … particularly during these tough economic times.  I’ll bet the President’s trip will barely cost a tenth of that (or $200 million total).  Of course, perhaps the money could be spent more effectively.  I mean … for $200 million, I might stop examining our political system and applying common sense to it, which in turn would spare our politicians from the inevitable embarrassment they suffer at the hands of the Common Sense Czar.  Then again, $200 million might not be enough to get me to cease and desist.  After all, I’m still a little bit miffed about not getting a candy bar at the White House on Halloween; so much so that I spited the First Lady by purchasing a Happy Meal at Reagan International before I boarded my plane to fly home.

*****

Copyright © 2010 T.J. O’Hara. To support viral distribution, this article may be copied, reprinted, forwarded, linked, or published in any form as long as proper attribution is given to the author and no changes are made.