How to Frame a Politically Correct Thanksgiving Blessing

During this brief respite during which we are reminded to “give thanks” for the blessings in our lives, I was curious as to how such blessings might be appropriately framed within the context of our increasingly politically correct world. In the old days (just a few years ago), it was easy … you just thanked God.

Much to the undoubted dismay of many progressive thinkers, even President Clinton used to invoke God. During his mea culpa concerning the Monica Lewinski scandal, President Clinton said, "This has gone on too long, cost too much and hurt too many innocent people. Now, this matter is between me, the two people I love most -- my wife and our daughter -- and our God. I must put it right, and I am prepared to do whatever it takes to do so."

One can only guess that the name of God might have been spoken on a number of occasions during the actual affair itself, but that is separate from the issue at hand. Besides, by today’s standards, President Clinton is probably viewed as a conservative … so his beliefs shouldn’t really count.

Heaven forbid we thank God for anything today (… oops, old habits are hard to break). To do so would risk the ire of the ACLU and similarly predisposed intellectual giants (who surprisingly can’t seem to entertain even the possibility of a superior being or life force). With a liberal agenda that is increasingly stripping away the individual freedoms that apparently stand in the way of establishing a more benign and amorphous society, giving up God is a small price to pay.

After all, what did the framers of the Constitution know anyway? They probably weren’t thinking clearly when they drafted the First Amendment: “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof …” Hey, it was just their first Amendment. They probably hadn’t quite gotten the “hang” of it. I’m sure they really meant to include the phrase with which we have all become so familiar … “There shall be a separation of church and state” … which, by the way, does not appear anywhere in the Constitution.

In any case, here’s my pass at a politically correct Thanksgiving blessing:

Dear Me (note: it is more appropriate PC to reference “self” rather than the Almighty),

Thank Me for My work ethic, or lack thereof, and for the bounty it brought to Me and My family unit or individual household … or for that bounty which was delivered through the hard work of others and redistributed to Me and My family unit or individual household by My government. If such rewards were derived as a result of My direct contribution to the betterment of society, thank Me for my efforts. If such rewards were derived through the redistribution of wealth created by the tireless efforts others, thank Me for having the willingness not to contribute in a meaningful way … thereby unselfishly creating the opportunity to fulfill the charitable desires of others. Thank Me also for submissively acquiescing to the relinquishment of My individual freedom of choice, as well as the freedom of choice of others, to support an evolving society in which a small and reasonably inexperienced minority of individuals make choices for us. Thank Me for My health, which may soon be protected as directed by others; for the patience to wait long periods of time to see a physician; and for My understanding in the event that I am told that I do not merit the available care. Thank Me for embracing the peace and safety of My country while condemning its past efforts to ensure that such unbridled expectations are met, and similarly, while lauding public apologies made to other countries whose peace and safety was also enhanced by such actions. And, dear Me … thank Me for accepting political correctness, surrendering my beliefs to more vocal minorities, and allowing decisions to be made that will tax the economic and emotional wherewithal of generations to come … long after I’m gone.

Amen and/or Awomen.

*****

Sorry! I just can’t do this, so …

Happy Thanksgiving and God bless!

Copyright © 2009, Dr. T.J. O’Hara