A Round of Gulf

Contrary to popular belief, I have not just returned from a luxurious ten-day vacation in the south of Spain. You must be confusing me with someone else. The reality is that I cannot afford to take a vacation like that … particularly in today’s economy. No, I just stayed at home and watched the Discovery Channel’s outstanding series, Shark Week.

If you’re not familiar with the annual series, it’s a week-long series of special programs that are completely dedicated to sharks. Its compelling content is both educational and frightening. Nothing has scared more people into abandoning any thought of entering our coastal waters … with the possible exception of BP.

Speaking of Bad Pumps … how about the leadership President Obama showed during the oil spill crisis? President Bush arrogantly suspended the Jones Act less than three days after Katrina struck New Orleans to allow foreign vessels to move about more freely in the Gulf of Mexico to assist us. With a far better plan, President Obama diplomatically declined 21 offers of aid from 17 different countries for more than two months from the date that the spill began. While some may question the logic of this bold and decisive action, it preserved jobs for the union members who were hired to assist with the clean-up (albeit without the state-of-the-art equipment that was being offered by the other countries). When the economy is suffering (clearly because of the ongoing impact of the Bush Administration), job preservation has to come first. That’s also why the President’s moratorium on drilling … that immediately cost 8,000 deep-water rig operators their jobs along with the 23,000 or so workers who support those rigs … was such a stroke of genius! Those people can immediately shift to “green” jobs that will lower America’s dependence on foreign oil … at least, theoretically.

You also to have to have been impressed with the President’s focus and sincerity:

• On May 27th, he said, "My job right now is just to make sure everybody in the Gulf understands: This is what I wake up to in the morning, and this is what I go to bed at night thinking about. The spill."

• Of course, on September 11, 2009, he said, “As President, my greatest responsibility is the security of the American people. It is the first thing I think about when I wake up in the morning. It’s the last thing I think about when I go to sleep at night.”

• And before that, on July 23, 2009, at a town hall meeting in Shaker Heights, Ohio he said, "I know that for the millions of Americans who are looking for work, and all those who are struggling in this economy, full recovery can't come soon enough. I hear from you at town hall meetings like this. I read your letters. These stories are the first thing I think about in the morning and the last thing I think about at night - and the focus of my attention every day."

But hey, this is politics. If you find a phrase that works, just stick with it until the public catches on!

Shortly thereafter, the President’s strength was again on display during his interview with Matt Lauer on the Today show when he said, "I was down there a month ago, before most of these talking heads were even paying attention to the Gulf. A month ago I was meeting with fishermen down there, standing in the rain talking about what a potential crisis this could be. And I don't sit around just talking to experts because this is a college seminar; we talk to these folks because they potentially have the best answers, so I know whose ass to kick." Then, after Tony Hayward (then CEO of BP) said that the environmental impact would be "modest" and he wanted his "life back," the President said that Hayward "wouldn't be working for me after any of those statements." He was apparently so upset that he fired General Stanley McChrystal instead.

Then, the President flexed his political muscle … Chicago style … in a closed-door meeting with Tony Hayward during which he extracted a minimum of $20 billion dollars in reparations. Shortly thereafter, Hayward did the unthinkable; he attended a regatta with his teenage son in which his yacht was participating. What was he thinking … trying to spend a weekend with his teenage son after two months on the road? Needless to say, when the President received the news … sometime between the Major League Baseball game he attended on Friday and the round of golf he played with Vice President Biden on Saturday … he was upset.

And the spill was such a big news story that even the First Lady was called upon to lend her support. Of course, she’s “only a private citizen” … with a staff of 24 assistants for which we pay … but she was gracious enough to do a few public service announcements in an attempt to stimulate tourism in the Gulf coast … just before leaving for Europe with her youngest daughter and her entourage. Muy bueno!

While Michelle Obama was away, the President went on a campaign trip to rally some union workers at a few automobile plants, take advantage of a few photo-ops, blame the Bush Administration for pretty much everything, and then have dinner with Oprah on his birthday. After that grind and upon the First Lady’s return, it was time for some well-deserved time off. Estupendo!

The two of them and their youngest daughter boarded Air Force One and headed to Panama City, Florida … for a whole 27 hour vacation. The President got to spend some quality time alone with his daughter (and a few dozen reporters and camera crew members) swimming at Alligator Point in St. Andrew Bay, which is separated from the actual Gulf by barrier islands. The President himself declared, “the beaches all along the Gulf Coast are clean, safe and open for business.” I guess he saw them from the plane when they flew in. Extraordinariamente reconfortante!

By the way, I’m not exactly sure what the Spanish phrases mean, but it appears to be something that the First Lady and her daughter picked up this summer … probably through a Berlitz course.

I must admit, my favorite photo-opt of their extended Gulf Coast vacation was the one of the President eating some mint chocolate chip ice cream, with some Oreo ice cream for little Sasha, and a hot fudge sundae without whipped cream for Michelle. It was so real! They genuinely looked like a normal family having fun. Had it been politically staged, they would have been eating some sort of tofu since the First Lady’s major initiative is stamping out childhood obesity. Instead, they just had ice cream. How cool is that?

I would be remiss if I didn’t mention that, buoyed by the First Lady’s campaign against childhood obesity, the Center for Science in the Public Interest (CSPI), threatened to sue McDonald’s in June saying, "Using toys to lure small children into McDonald’s is unfair and deceptive marketing and is illegal under various state consumer protection laws.” And now, the city of San Francisco has jumped on board. Of course, San Francisco has already banned bottled water as well as regular Coke and Pepsi from government vending machines. So, why not just ban Happy Meals from the entire city?

Crazy, you say? You simply must remember that San Francisco is a “Sanctuary City.” It’s a “sanctuary” against common sense; otherwise, how would Nancy Pelosi keep getting re-elected. It’s also a “sanctuary” against the Constitution. Don’t like a Federal law (like immigration)? Just ignore it. No one will do anything about it. After all, you’re San Francisco!

If we don’t take this issue “off the menu” right now, what’s next … banning political ads that unfairly “lure” people to cast “unhealthy” votes? How would we survive? We might gain back all the pounds of freedom that these people have tried to help us shed. I guess we’ll just have to add a phrase to the First Amendment that the Framer’s apparently didn’t think would be necessary: “Congress shall make no law abridging the right of the people to eat whatever they want.”

Me? I think the First Family got it right on this one! I’m just going to have a hot fudge sundae made with Oreo and mint chocolate chip ice cream and lots of whipped cream ... while I still can.

*****

Copyright © 2010 Dr. T.J. O’Hara. To support viral distribution, this article may be copied, reprinted, forwarded, linked, or published in any form as long as proper attribution is given to the author and no changes are made.